2nd in a series of mail sent by Dad...
I m back on the air.How do u feel? U c last time I signed off with a very subtle glimpses of social contract.Ok. What's it? U know Marriage can also b defined as:-
Maturity Aided Relationship Requiring Intimacy, Adjustments & Guided Equality
(M A R R I A G E )
This is what it sums up my 30 years of experience.
Ok. Have u read the book, "MEN R FROM MARS;WOMEN R FROM VENUS" by John Gray. If u haven't, better get hold of a copy & go thru this.It is a must both for a man n a woman who r getting married.It will give u an insight into the way men n women behave after marriage.It talks about as to how the basic cause of conflict between the two already exists, because anatomically, physically, psychologically n intellectually they r different.Thus,there ought to exist a chasm in their perceptions as they r governed by different mental processes.Both have strong inclinations towards their acquired attributes.
So,they think differently. It is natural.U don't need " UNIFIED THEORY" to explain this.
No, u don't need to pull ur hairs too. I m getting to the point.Simply put, if there is a different way of a thought process as a compulsive necessity, then, there would b a difference of opinion too.Right.This difference is the anti-dote of mental harmony. It seeds anger,frustration n distust culminating into mental n physical discomfiture.It breaks all communications and conflict begins.To avoid this conflict the duo needs a strong bonding of love.
Love leads both of them to minimise the difference of opinion; control the contours of self acclaimed righteousness and acquire the ability to telepahically read each oter's mind.When this happens they both merge into one another.They achieve the emotinal bonding which exhorts them to live 'by', 'for' n 'of' each other.Two individuals thus live ovlivious of others.But u r not alone on this earth.There r many others.U have to adhere to the social norms of conduct. U r not in the animal kingdom of the jungle.To live in the society in an honourable ,dignified n a self respect manner the two have to convert the 'emotive contract' into a 'social contract'.That is marriage. It implies couple lives by the honour code of the society.So, what is that honour code, which is binding?
I tell u I don't want to further bore u with the honour code of contact of the society, at this stage.
First of all I want u both to strengthen ur emotive contract by reading the book- "Men r from Mars; Women r from Venus" .Do that. It is a very interestin book.It will demolish ur self created walls of protection against each other, which u perhaps do not urself know n understand today. It is the sub conscious mind whih does it.Once u have demolished the walls u will become "MADE FOR EACH OTHER".Having that u will better understand ur social contract.Because people do not attain this it leads to maritial discord while carrying out social contract.
'Made For Each Other'tag will create mutual confidence, understanding,trust n faith in each other,which removes all doubts on trivial issues. Ok ,I 'll leave it at that. Next session I will talk of the nature of social contract.Bye & So long.
Tons of love.