Dad's Wisdom - Part 6

Final one...


Hi everyone!

Lots of love & Greetings for the New Year!

I know none of u r interested to read what I write.Fair enough.But be blessed, it is ur major loss.
Perhaps,now, it seems 'trash' to u all.May be u haven't heard of the saying which says that every child thinks his parents were wrong till he/she becomes a parent and realises that parents were right.But it is too late to retrieve by then. Perhaps, u r too intoxicated by the brashness of the youthful energy that abounds in u in such proportions which pulls down ur brains shutters to create a mental block. May be u get scared by the bold use of sarcasm by me and u take an umbrage to it. This is an emotinal raction.But ,let me tell u that emotions have no place in logic.And I always maintain that emotions blind ur rational faculties. Use of sarcasm is to give fillip to ur thinking process so as to make u understand the point but NOT TO TREAT IT AS A GOSPEL TRUTH OR THE ONLY TRUTH. Maybe,ur cereberal tissues have not so fully developed to espy pearls of golden words ensconced in each bout of 'sarcasm n ridicule' from me.Lies behind the closed n jarred doors of 'deliberately-sentenced-nonsensical-write-ups' by u are scented words of guidance for smooth-riding into the terra-incognita of future.Let me assure u that life's journey is niether a cake-walk nor anything known as 'PERFECT MARRIED LIFE'.There is nothing called 'Straight Drive'in life.Most of the time it is zig-zag n cross-country.

The marriage vehicle which u ride so happily at the outset,will run across a large numbers of bumps, depressions,pot-holes n narrow lanes besides showing u greener pastures over larger stretches. As u move along, u go through dicey turns;meandering stetches n conflicting curves at every changing moment. Some will excite u; some others will frighten u. Some will bring joy unlimited; others will unleash agony untold.Like a pendulum u will oscillate between frustration n hope.Frustration will create confusion; Hope will generate expectations. Invariably,in all these situations, u donot know what to do.And as u go farther n farther from the 'Ground Zero' of marriage,the frequency of occurence of these events increases in a geometrical progression.Thus, u r at 'Cross-Roads of Life' very very frequently.

Come what may, there is no escape from this in any married life.There is nothing known as 'Perfect Married Life'.Equally true is the fact that there was nothing known as'The Perfect Wife' or 'The Perfect Husband'. In fact, there is nothing known as PERFECT HUMAN BEING. Those who r 70-80% perfect they become 'LORD RAMA', 'LORD KRISHNA' or 'BUDDHA".But they too have 20-30% imperfection.100% perfection is the domain of the GOD,and GOD alone.A normal human being is 40-50%perfection n 50-60%imperfection.People Like GANDHI or MARTIN LUTHER KING or MOTHER TERESSA or even a Flowrence Nightingale r 51-69% perfection n 31-49% imperfection. Imperfection leads to a number of awkward situations in life.And when u get married it gets doubled up. It is imperative that one must be prepared to face unknown events,springing up due to our imperfect ways, depending upon the degree of imperfection in us.If it is more than 60%,we r headed for disaster because one would then b a specimen from sub-normal human beings.And a definite crash, come what may, at the cross roads is their predicted fate.But even normal human beings may trip at these cross roads if they r not careful.

Therefore, one must be prepared to negotiate these cross-roads.In this write-up, I intend to give u some tips on how to negotiate the cross-roads.Take it or throw it ,I don't care.Here r TEN COMMANDMENTS of negotiating 'Cross Roads' in one's married life.

1ST COMMANDMENT.When tempers run high on both sides,no matter whose fault,ACKNOWLEDGE THAT A GOOF-UP HAS TAKEN PLACE.It needs to be immediately attended to BEFORE THE LEAK BECOMES A DELUGE.

2ND COMMANDMENT.When,ONE PERSON SHOUTS OR IS UNDER SOME OUTBURST OF ANGER,OTHER MUST KEEP QUIET,NO MATTER HOW PROVOKING OR UNREASONABLE THE FIRST ONE IS.Allow the flames to douse by keeping shut rather than harping about ur innocence which will only add fuel to the fire.

3RD COMMANDMENT.Marriage is not a public affair. It is a private n confidential matter.Resolve all issues between two of u.Do not discuss any matter with even closest of relatives or friends.DO NOT FIGHT IN THE PUBLIC.PEOPLE WILL HAVE NO SYMPATHY,THEY WILL ONLY WRITE AN OBITUARY OF UR MARRIAGE,EVEN IF U TALK TO THEM IN CONFIDENCE.

4TH COMMANDMENT.Gloss over smaller acts of omission n commission by either of the partners.DO NOT MAKE ISSUE OUT OF A NON ISSUE.CRIB N CRITICISE BUT UPTO A PERMISSIBLE LIMIT.NO PUBLIC CRITICISM, NEVER.

5TH COMMANDMENT.DO NOT HIDE ANYTHING FROM EACH OTHER. THERE R NO SECRETS BETWEEN HUSBAND N WIFE.Don't u ever think other partner will never know. BREACH OF TRUST IS THE BIGGEST CRIME IN THE MARRIED LIFE. IT 'LL BECOME UR 'WATERLOO'.

6TH COMMANDMENT.TO ERR IS HUMAN.Only humanbeings have the intelligence to understand that a mistake has been committed.Animals don't possess this sense.Be bold and a great human being i.e. accept ur fault boldly n retrieve the lost ground rather than justifying ur act with irrelevant arguements.

7TH COMMANDMENT. THERE IS NOTHING PERFECT IN LIFE.DON'T LOOK FOR IDEAL SOLUTIONS TO EACH OF UR PROBLEM.Compromise n adjustments, sooner or later, will bring peace n harmony.Rigidity n inflexibility of ur mind,thinking,attitude n behaviour will only invite disaster.

8TH COMMANDMENT.TRUST N MUTUAL CONFIDENCE IS MANDATORY PRINCIPLE OF SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE.There r no half measures.One must b guided by rationality rather than emotions.

9TH COMMANDMENT. life is beautiful.LIVE IT FULLY.DO NOT LET GO THE TIME IN UNWANTED N MEANINGLESS SKIRMISHES.REMEMBER TIME N 'AGE' DO NOT WAIT FOR ANYONE TO GET MATURED.Let u not think life will give u a 2nd chance.No, Never.What u have lived is gone n gone for ever.ENJOY N BE HAPPY 'NOW'.'PRESENT' IS WHAT MATTERS.

10TH COMMANDMENT.EQUALITY OF GENDERS IN ALL MATTERS MUST DEFINE UR MUTUAL RELATIONSHIP.Do not let ur thoughts b clogged with a view that other partner can not do what u r doing. There fore seek advice on all family matters.

If u follow these commandments life will be a smooth journey.Rest u will get in further missives.
Read or not it does not matter to me. It is ur bad luck. U don't even know what perhaps has been missed by u? A LOT. U can still read n enrich urself. Nothing much 4 the time being.

Bye n So Long. LOVE! PAPA.