4th mail
Hey Folks!
Love & blessings!
Well, I'm back again.This time there will b no poodle-faking n no beating round the bush.It 'll b real straight 'HARD TALK'.U must read it.Don't treat as trash.Last time two of u responded the other two probably treated it as rubbish.I'm a mind reader,too.
Ur writing or not writing gives me an idea of ur mental make-up. By now I have a fair idea of ur westernised misgivings.I know each one's mind.On that i will write individually to each one.For the time being let me hitch u on the band-wagon of my thought process, Which is :- IN THE INDIAN SOCIAL CONTEXT,REGARDLESS OF THE CAST CREED N RELIGION, MARRIAGE IS A SOCIAL CONTRACT PLUS LOVE NO MATTER HOW IT COMES ABOUT.WE R NOT NOURISHED IN THE ANIMAL-KINGDOM-PHILOSPHY OF THE WEST,WHO ALLUDE A LOPSIDED MEANING TO LIBERTY N FREEDOM AS THE ANIMALS DO IN THE JUNGLE.I only wish to remind u guys that u belong to a far too-superior-culture n a social system which has withstood the test of times.Let me stop at this for the time being.
I signed off last time saying, that I 'll explain Social Contract in my next communication. I shall do it in the paras appended below.
Social contract is 'DHARMA'.Heckles raised n antennas errected? No? OK,If i tell u that english word "RELIGION" does not contain its meaning in entirity, will u agree? In fact there is no equavalence of"DHARMA" in this language.It is an irony that the most popular language of the world is the most unscientific n underdeveloped.U don't seem to agree wih me.Give u another example.Look at the word "LOVE".It seems to cater for 'PARENTAL-
AFFECTION','BROTHER-SISTER-EMOTIONAL- AFFINITY'; 'EMOTIONAL-INFATUATION OF MARRIED COUPLE' N 'PHYSICAL VIBES BETWEEN A BOY N THE GIRL'.In 'Hindi' it will b 'MAMTA';SANEH';PREM'N 'PYAR'respectively. U people still don't agree.Ok, look at the words Uncle n Auntie.Do they fully define social relationships?
There r tons of examples I can give u.BUT REMEMBER LANGUAGE IS THE MIRROR OF A SOCIAL SYSTEM.LIKE ITS LANGUAGE THE WESTERN SOCIAL SYSTEMS, U GUYS R SO FOND OF,R MOST UNSCIENTIFIC.
TECCHNOLOGICAL ADVANCEMENT DOES NOT JUSTIFY THE CLAIM THAT WESTERN SOCIAL SYSTEMS R SCIENTIFIC.
'Freedom n Liberty' of the Western philosphy owe their origion to 'Slave-Mentality' n 'Jungle-Thinking'. Their craving for this bears no responsibilities n accountablity.Their concept is FREE-FOR-ALL-DICTUM , LEADING TO CHAOS&DISORDER;SELFISHNESS N GREED; INDIVIDUALISATION N CONFLICT.AS A CONTRAST TO THIS, SOUTH ASIAN SOCIAL SYSTEM N ALSO OF THE ORIENT, PAY ATTENTION TO SOCIAL EXISTENCE IN AN ORDERLY MANNER.Freedom n Liberty ,in this culture, have a far deeper meaning.We had systems like 'SVYAMAMBER',where a bride used to select a groom for herself. Our 'Guru-Shishya' system of the past was the best example of freedom n liberty in the learning process.Honour n dignity with discipline was the central theme of this freedom.So ther u r.Let us now revert to 'Dharma'.
The word 'religion' does not mean 'DHARMA'.U c religion in its dictionary meaning stands for temporal rituals n method of worshipping ur chosen god.It tells u 'what to do' n 'how to do' in seeking unison with ur god."Dharma", on the other hand is a 'way of life'.Religion has only temporal connotations,'DHARMA' has religious,societal, economical,miltary,familial,n existentional connotations.It speaks of values,ethos, realities, ettiquettes, ethics, attitudes, postures, inclinations in a given human activity.It leaves no scope for different interprettations. And it has a very scientific way of evolving themselves.What u c in modern india today is cultural abberratins brought about by alien philosphies heavily dominated by religious practices. India of the past never gave importance to religion ,cast n creed.Importance was given to disciplined existence of human beings.There were conflicts. But they were between "Dharma" n "Adharma"-the 'right n the wrong'.'Right n wrong' was not decided by an individual but by the social system of the community.Zones of freedom n liberty were well defined for individuals-male n female,groups, pairs,communities, societies,polities n kingdoms.There was no free for all system of the animal societies.DHARMA HAD COMMITTMENTS, DUTIES, RESPONSIBILITIES, ACCOUNTABILITIES,RESTRICTIONS, STIPULATIONS, DO'S
N DON'TS ON ALL SPHERES OF HUMAN ACTIVITY. IT DEMANDS SACRIFICES, CARE, CONCERN, HONESTY, INTEGRITY N LOYALITY FOR ALL RELATIONSHIPS.
DHARMA is thus a self binding code of conduct.It is an unwritten contract with self to do every thing within the frame work of 'Dharma'-which is an evolved philosphy of the South Asia.Incidentally,'Dharma' is a 'Sanskrit' word n "HINDU' is a Persian word.The latter is as foriegn as the word 'India'is.More on this in some other time.Remember, Dharma is an all encompassing self speaking philosphy,Which becomes binding to follow.It is a contract.
Why doI say,"Marriage is a social contract".Simply put, it is a social phenomenon between two individuals. It is not an individual activity in isolation.If Marriage is a social contract,It is simply a DHARMA, as defined above.It is not and can not be an individual activity.Western social systems,though,treat it as an individual phenomenon and thus apply the rules of jungle living.Our marriages,no matter how they r brought about,whether arranged or the familial acceptance of emotional vibes between two individuals, they r family affairs unlike the West which r individual affairs.In our marriages, honour, respect, dignity n prestige of two families r invested.
Therefore, marriages have to operate within the given frame work of social contract, which is Dharma. It does not allow freedom to operate outside the contract. This is the difference.
Finally, what is love? I 've already explained in my earlier mails. To simpify it is Loyality (L)
Orchestrated(O) Vibes(V) & Emotions(E)experienced during a visual,platonic,physical n social interaction between two individuals . Marriage is therefore,LOVE BACKED BY DHARMA.It must honour the ethos of its route.
I now finish off my sermons on marriage. To sum it up MARRIAGE IS A SOCIAL AFFAIR. IT IS NOT AN INDIVIDUAL EVENT.IT IS GOVERNED BY THE SOCIAL CODE OF CONDUCT.IT CARRIES HEAVY BURDEN OF SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITIES, FAMILY HONOUR& IZZAT ,THE NEED FOR THE CARE, CONCERN,SACRIFICE FOR TH PARTNER.IT DEMANDS NOT ONLY COMMITTMENTS BUT SHARING OF EACH OTHERS FEELINGS N AVOIDING HURTING SENSIBILITIES.IT IS NOT A CHILD'S PLAY TO SAY THE LEAST.
Next time I will harrangue on India, 'Indie' &Indus'.
Do not feel tired. i have taken 4 hours to type it.
With tons of love & good wishes.
PAPA
Reply to the post & its answer
Hi pa...
I agree with your conclusion... but do not agree with the means to that conclusion... what u did was something like... abc & xyz are 2 different ways of doing things... xyz is bad coz of 1; 2 & 3.. therefore abc is good...
This does not make abc good... some other might point out various faults with abc and thus conclude xyz is better... e.g. to some one from west arranged marriage might seem very odd.. and probably they might not like it.. and will start debunking indian civ...
I agree with you finishing sentences... not because I think western culture is equivalent to animal kingdom philosophy but simply because this is the way I have grown up and this is the way I am comfortable with...
I feel the values one has, has a lot to do with environment one is living in than with absolute rights and wrongs... as they say when in rome do as romans do... and it is true for trivial matters as well as philosophical...
Reply
I like it.If i were able to provoke u to say what u have said, I know I'm on the right track.U r right but u c i've done no mathematical calculations to say what i've said. Let me clarify some points.
Firstly, I've not pitted West against the East.
I've merely said 'Liberty' n 'freedom' in their social parlance stand for 'FREE FOR ALL'.This is bad. This is the cause of social turmoil & loose social relationships in their societies. They attach too much value to individual n his social freedom. Our system is exactly the opposite of it.
Secondly, to lead a peaceful, harmonious n secure life in a social system, individuals'll have to lose some of their individual freedom, liberty n privileges. Imagine what happens if every one starts doing things as per 'MERI MARZI' 'THIS IS MY LIFE ATTITUDE'. There 'll b chaos n disorder.Society 'll b in turmoils.
Thirdly,I'm not saying which type of marriage is better. I'm not talking of the 'FORM'of marriage but theperiod after marriage.More pronouncedly, I'm only defining golden rules to avoid conflict in marriage.
Fourthly, I agree one behaves acording to the environments of one's upbringing.These r the basic tenets of behaviour. But it is a truism abberrations too r caused by 'operative environments'. My sole agenda was to guard n caution u against the operative environments of ur chosen path.Tradidional Indian values n ethos may not b the perfect models for ur times.But basic moralities acquired in ur growing up will go to make ur character.As u interact with new environments u 'll b in conflict with urself.This is where u 'll define for urself 'The Right N The Wrong'.These r two perceptions of a human mind which constantly chase through out life.This is where the philosophy of the East beats West.This is why u find so many 'Yogis' 'Gurus' 'Godmen' n 'Temporal heads'of the East dominate the Materialistic-Man' of the West.
Finally, my aim is to make u thinking n alert so that while interacting with modern environmenmts u do not lose sight of ur 'ROOTS'.As long as u 've this at the back of ur mind, it serves the purpose. I 've achieved my aim because all of u 've responded in ur own style n individuality but within the frame work of ur understanding n social upbringing which is basically INDIAN. U know there has been an invasion of abberrations in our social system too. But they r under the hammer in our interaction with the West. S what u see today is the SYNTHESIS OF THE MORALISTIC EAST AND THE MATERIALISTIC WEST.SOME WHERE IN BETWEEN LIES UR GENERATION. U R PRODUCT OF THIS SYNTHESIS.
That's why u can only shed ur EASTERN MORALITIES AT PERIL TO UR MENTAL HARMONY ,FAMILIAL DIGNITY N NUPTIAL PEACE. This is the essence of my talk.Thats all. Thanx .Lots of love. Tons of affections.Billions time reminding u all as to WHAT U R - AN INDIAN PRODUCT IN WESTERN WRAP AROUND.
Bye & so long.
PAPA
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